I will try to explain why your calls have not been answered. This is way too long and drawn out, I apologize for that, but the best way to express my reasoning can’t be resolved in a few words. So, if it sounds a bit malevolent while you read and, no doubt, will think I’m completely insane off the rocker.. etc., that’s fine. I’ve never changed through the last 33 years in my belief and know as truth.
If you remember, going back, I received Christ as my savior in your (Barham Blvd) condo. My longing to know if God is real was answered. I still remember that experience to this day. I asked Jesus to save me and the Holy Spirit from God came into my heart and changed me. You know it, too.
Through years of studying the bible, I found out who God was/is and why Jesus came to give His life for the sins of the world. Searching other religions didn’t come close to the truth. The many questions that popped up in my mind, examined scriptures, what if’s; I can tell you the eyes of my heart have been enlightened and point only to His word as truth. The old testament prophecies of the coming savior (Torah, Hebrew Bible) through the new testament (fulfilled by Jesus) is the only account of the true universal God who revealed His love for this world, also to a wretch like me. To acquire eternal life is as easy as believing. A very very hard difficult task to live out because of peoples hate and disbelief!
I guess you could say I lived as a hypocrite. All the drinking and stupid behavior. My profession of faith probably came across merely as superficial. I had a weakness! A tendency to hold on to my youth and live in the moment for myself. Yeah! Sure there was laughter and fun, you helped me many times and gave me things etc…, I don’t take away from that. That was in the past. It is gone! The friendship I had with you was really against what I believed. No fault of yours, I chose to associate with you. The things I sought after were of no value towards my growth in Christ. God gives us all things to enjoy in this life, but the pleasures I delighted in were harmful to my body and soul. There is absolutely no benefit for me to remember any of it.
If I were to socialize with you now the temptation to get sucked back into the past would be pernicious in a subtle way to my psyche. I care not to take part in hearing any negative remarks or emerging debates. I’m not bold enough to tell you in conversation otherwise. All those memories would just cloud my thinking.
I look forward to the future of Christ’s coming and the new heaven and new earth. This world has nothing for me except, lies, phoniness, disappointment, hate, and heartache. I count it all meaningless. Being around deception and lies is not for me. The life I live is for God, Jesus my Lord and Savior. Yes! Jesus freak! God’s goodness. I hold on to that. The truth of His word. As the bible tells me, “I’m a sojourner just passing through. My citizenship is in heaven.” …continued in Truth -2